ramblings...

2008-09-27T21:39:00.000-06:00

after the storm comes the rainbow...right?

obsessed...

2008-08-26T21:14:00.002-06:00

an incredibly good book is hard to beat out. i've always enjoyed reading, getting into a story. perhaps this is a reason i've aspired to be an author...when i was younger :)

it's hard to get the same effect in a movie, regardless of how accurate it is and how hard the producers try. why? because a book's biggest allure is in using your imagination to create the images you read from the pages. and who doesn't like letting her imagination run wild?

i tend to be a bit, uhh, "nerdy" when it comes to books. and sometimes, i get a little too obsessed with them. take harry potter, for example. i became one with that book. i felt all the emotions the characters felt, my heart pounded as my eyes would skim through the pages, anxious to see what happens next. but that's what is so magical about a book. it lets the reader get lost in its world, allows the imagination to run rampant, and becomes an escape.

...which leads to the point of this entry :)

this book is my latest obsession, and must-read. i was a bit skeptical at first, mostly because the person who referred me to it was my sister. and honestly, i didn't think my sister read. i was shocked to find out that she actually makes purchases at barnes & nobles...and actually spends money. on books!! i really hadn't the slightest clue! but anyhow, i relented, and i'm super glad i did.

i have to admit, i'm not a sucker for biographies, historical novels, nonfiction (well...maybe minus books like The Devil in the White City. that was pretty frickin amazing). most other books, i'll give it a try. i love love LOVE easy reads, pleasurable "beach reads." and this book qualifies as one of these.

meyer does a wonderful job of creating suspense, and making the reader feel all the emotions of the characters, bella, the main character, and edward, her love. ridiculous as it may sound, my heart actually hurts when i think of the two of them. and they're fictional characters!!

anyhow, i won't elaborate on the plot, i don't want to give it away. but it is simply amazinggggg. i'm on book two now, and i couldn't put it down...even when the boyfriend called :p

alright. enough raving. i must get back to the book now :)

2008-08-14T17:52:00.001-06:00

i miss london :(

fatigued.

2008-04-23T06:03:00.002-06:00

i'm tired. yeah, physically tired also, mostly because i woke up at 5 and lay in bed for 20 minutes wondering if i should get up. i did eventually, but i was still too late to make it to the news show, so i'm sitting in the library wasting time. the drive home is too long.

but i'm more tired emotionally and mentally. school's (is that spelled correctly? why does that look funny outta nowhere?) over in about 2 weeks, and i really don't care anymore. i feel like this is a period in my life where i just want to hit fast forward until the next chapter of my life. seriously, this has been dragging on for way, way too long. i'm ready to be done with school, ready to graduate, and ready to move on. i'm sick of slacking.

i'm also tired spiritually. it's been the longest roller coaster ride ever, and lately i've been questioning everything about my faith. sure, i've tricked myself into thinking that everything is ok, that i'm ok with God, and my faith is strong enough. but what if it's not? it's getting harder and harder to convince myself that God's there, to let everything go and put it into His hands. i dunno why. maybe i'm getting greedy and selfish and liking everything i have, although that doesn't sound right to me. maybe i've become too reliant on myself to make everything happen, i don't know. i went to a retreat this past weekend, and come back with too many thoughts. the one that keeps bothering me is letting go, to surrender things to him. why does this scare me to death, and leave me feeling anxious and freaked out?

i hate uncertainty, i hate when things don't work out the way i want them to. so maybe that's why everything is happening in this way, so i can learn more about patience and coping when things don't seem so stable. i'm so frustrated lately. i just want to curl up in a corner of my room and bawl until my head feels like it'll explode. and this time, i'm sure it's not PMS.

maybe it'll be better within the next two weeks. i think if i can make it past then, i'll be ok. but i know for sure, it's gonna feel like hell until it passes. so good luck to myself until then.

recap

2008-04-14T15:49:00.002-06:00

ok. so i had some unique experiences today, so i thought i'd share.

jackie and i got bored, and we both didn't have class, so we decided to walk to burger house to get shakes. on the way there, i saw a supercuts, and as we were passing by, got this sudden, irresistable urge to get a haircut. so acting on impulse, we walk in and set up appointments for trims. yay. we then proceed to burger house to pick up awesome shakes, and jackie gets amazing cheese fries...must go back for some of those when i'm hungry.

we make it back to supercuts, and i'm first so i sit in my chair. the hairstylist asks me to take off my glasses, so i'm pretty much blind as she works on my hair. after she's done, she says, "like it?" so i put on my glasses...and hate it. it's not terrible, it was simply a relayering job. but it looks so...drab. i guess i really miss jesse's haircuts :\ i may have to find someone to touch it up for me. so lesson number 1: don't do impulsive haircuts from someone you don't know. switching hairstylists is like sleeping with another person...it just freaks you out and doesn't work.

i'm also sick. which means i was pretty drugged up earlier today. it's actually a weird, good feeling...i felt detached from my body, and kinda like i was travelling above it. i still feel that way, and the drugs have worn off. :)

thenn...in my investigative reporting class, i get my second draft back, and i look at the last page with my professor's comments...and i swear, my heart dropped to the ground. i had accidentally sent him the wrong draft, so he got the unfinished, rambling, full of thoughts and fragments one. so after class, i went up and told him so, and he replied with a "well, fucking thank goodness." then went on to say that school's need punishment for this reason, pounding his podium for emphasis. we ended the conversation with him asking me if i take a lot of drugs. and since i did today, i replied with a "sure do!"

this is really long. and my head's swirling again...and i'm not even drugged up. i hope this sickness thing goes away soon, it's really not much fun.

omg.

2008-04-07T16:26:00.003-06:00

i am in serious, serious purse lust. SERIOUS. i don't know what it is about this one, but i think it's frickin adorable. haha. it's nothing special but i fell in love the second i saw it. it IS time to buy a new one... :p

ok. it is freezing in the library where i am, and i think it's thundering and raining outside. not the best combination of weather in the world, but i guess i'll live.

know what? PMS really is a bitch. it's a bitch when you're going through it, and it's ESPECIALLY a bitch when it's your mom that's PMSing. even more so when she's sick too. gross.

makes me wonder...what would it be like if guys were the ones who had to go through the monthly cycle and had to endure PMS. i know that some guys do already, but no, really. would they be labeled as emotional, mood-swingy, bitchy, bothersome?

it'd be a funny concept, i think. hahahaha, really funny actually. i read an article in my women's studies book about what the world would be like if men were the ones with periods. it's kinda absurd and out there, but the author said it would become a "bragging right" and that guys would use it as another means of competition. that much seems true. and they'd "glorify" it and say it's special and manly because you're MENstruating. HA. kinda ridiculous, no?

i want to switch lives with a guy for one day. yeah, just one day. i think it'd be kinda interesting.

i hate rain. i hate thunder. this post is so everywhere.

happily ever after...

2008-04-06T21:50:00.004-06:00

i just finished watching "enchanted." and MAN.

in one aspect, it was a terrible, jumbled mess of a bunch of fairy tales jammed into one movie. on the other hand, i absolutely loved it.

it was every bit as cheesy and ridiculous as i had hoped, and just as predictable. i pretty much knew what was going to happen...before it happened. usual.

but now i feel kinda like crap. isn't it great?

i love fuzzy, cheesy, romantic comedies. they leave you happy and makes you feel like you're floating on air. sorta. and i felt like that for all of 5 seconds before i crashed back into reality and got a really big headache.

it's really depressing that there may not be a "happily ever after" ending, or that reality sucks so much. and there's nothing you can really do about it. so now i'm left in this funk, wishing i could sing away my worries like amy adams did as a princess. but it's not possible, so i'm just gonna suck it up, put a fake smile on my face, and pretend that everything's ok.

being in a funk really sucks. i'm not even sure why it's happening, or why it comes so suddenly and frequently. or even why i'm switching the subject to this after talking about "enchanted." but it happens every so often, and i get so blah i just wanna sleep. and sleep some more. or reach into my insides and claw out this blah-ness. i'm not even sure it's something i can really fix.

right now, this funk leaves me feeling like there's a gaping hole in my stomach. it just feels...empty. and i'm not sure why. it sure isn't fun. isn't watching a happy fairy tale supposed to leave you feeling better than this?

slacking off

2008-04-01T09:22:00.002-06:00

so i've taken slacking and procrastinating to a whole new level for myself.

i had a test this morning, and i spent all of last night sleeping. yeah, sleeping. not cramming, not studying, not reading, ZIP. i planned on doing all of the above, but after coming home and eating, my body just could not resist passing out. i initially wanted to take a small power nap so i could be refreshed, revived.

i woke up at 7 this morning. granted, i was refreshed, and i'm surprisingly awake right now, but i also hadn't studied. but for some weird reason, i wasn't panicking. odd, huh? instead, i got out of bed, walked to the computer, and quickly crammed everything in about 45 minutes before i went to take a shower. amazing.

the test was actually not that bad either, but this usually means i failed miserably. still, i only left part of my short answer question blank, just the last part of the 3 points i was supposed to make. so i think it's not too bad.

sadly, because of this, i will once again not learn to start studying early, and continue to practice procrastination. especially if my grade turns out ok for this exam.

on a brighter note, it's april fool's day. i racked my brain all morning to think of pranks i could pull on anybody. through all of that, i've realized i'm not much of a pranker. tis a pity, because i think i'm pretty good at lying...not that it's anything to brag about, heh.

i am much too cheery and awake for this hour, it's kinda freaking me out. so i'm going to stop.

cheers.

facebook is the devil

2008-03-30T22:14:00.002-06:00

it really is. especially when you're trying to study. i think i'm completely addicted to it, sadly enough.

it's pretty bad when you click the "home" link maybe 10 times in a row, hoping that something will change. but usually, it's always the same. not much happens in the span of 30 seconds.

my head is killing me. organizational psychology blows. i really don't care about the expectancy theory and approaches to motivation. because obviously, i don't have any of that.

something that's really bothering me about this semester is that so many of my classes involve business-y things. now, i'm not a big fan of such, and i've been avoiding taking business classes and put my foot down and refused to major in business. but now, i'm in a business journalism class (sadly, photojournalism filled up pretty quickly. what a bummer.) and i'm sitting here reading my damn organizational psych book, "learning" about how groups work together, and different things managers should do to make a better, happier working atmosphere.

gawd. i hate reading. there really was no point to this post, except to vent, clear my head, and take a break that didn't involve facebook. ha.

fashion at the park

2008-03-28T08:17:00.003-06:00

ok, so s'been awhile. i actually think i'm kinda hung over right now. it's a loverly feeling. plus, i just found out that my one class today was canceled. and i had no idea because i skipped last class. i really should look over my syllabus more often.

anyhow, yes, i was able to go to fashion at the park yesterday, and watched two shows. oscar de la renta, and the diesel show. and let me tell ya. it was AMAZING. well, the de la renta show was a lot better than the diesel one, and i really, really, really want one of his dresses now. although i couldn't afford it for my life and i would have nowhere to wear it :)

the diesel show was pretty good. i'm not gonna lie...i thoroughly enjoyed it because there were male models strutting their stuff in their briefs. now add a nice buzz from drinking 3 glasses of champagne, and voila. it's an instant party. i took some video on my camera, so hopefully i can upload it and share with others, although it may make you a bit nauseous; it's probably on par with the blair witch project.

a surprising thing i knew but learned for real yesterday? models too have cellulite. lots of it. kinda surprising, actually, and i felt pretty badly for the girls. i mean, it must be hard to walk the runway half naked, with all these people watching you, and all you can think about is, i hope i don't trip, and i hope my cellulite isn't that bad. or maybe i'm just assuming that's what they think.

and seeing models in real life, they really are ridiculously tiny. and long. and tall. i'm glad not everybody looks like that. because they're freaks of nature...albeit really, really hot freaks of nature. ok. i'm going to stop now because i'm getting a headache. peace out.

naturalization

2008-03-20T15:16:00.002-06:00

i'm officially a u.s. citizen now.
but i'm going to refrain from all the fanfare and cheering.
why?
honestly speaking...i feel so indifferent to it.
i returned from the swearing in ceremony about an hour ago. truth be told, i almost dozed off during that time.
still, i did some looking around, and man. everyone else seemed so thrilled and happy about it.
and it honestly was a big deal for some. a "special moment" was what the guy called it.
and i sat there, arms crossed, probably looking pissed off, and feeling a bit jaded.
is it really that great to be called a u.s. citizen? everyone else was waving their little flags around proudly. me? i stuffed it into my purse and didn't think twice about it.
also, everyone receives a certificate and a letter from the president. ha. isn't it lovely?
so what have i garnered from this experience?
how indifferent i am. or maybe it just means that i don't like president bush THAT much.

Virginia Tech Tragedy

2007-04-23T21:24:00.000-06:00

No one can truly express in words the amount of shock felt upon hearing about the massacre at Virginia Tech. I don't know anybody at Virginia Tech, but when such horrible things happen, it affects everyone. Plus, the shooter, Cho Seung-Hui, was a Korean like myself. Here and there I have experienced stinging remarks about South Koreans and how terrible we are. But that's a different story.

As soon as news spread about the killings, the media immediately began mass coverage of the event. It was hard to avoid hearing about Virginia Tech; it was every news channel and every Internet site's main story.

On the New York Times site, there is a multimedia package that covers everything from an interactive graphic of Virginia Tech to a video clip of the candlelight vigil held last Tuesday night. There was also a page devoted to the victims of the shooting. Each person's picture smiles back at the viewer, and a rollover contains links to each victim's personal profile and comments left by readers.

It was quite touching to see such a memorial for the victims. Somehow, seeing each individual's picture makes the event seem more real. Virginia seems so far away, with us being in Texas. It really is hard to relate to the pain going through the people who were affected. The sadness I felt was almost tangible, and my heart goes out to their family members who are in much grief.

As for the interactive graphic, it covers in detail the buildings where the shootings took place. It starts out with a map of the campus and shows more detail as the massacre progressed. One particular graphic, showing Norris Hall and listing the death toll. Seeing the squares drawn for every person who was shot was quite impacting. Classrooms full of students and staff were killed and wounded. Honestly, 32 did not sound like such a big number, but seeing and counting those squares...there really were a lot of lives taken.

CNN.com also had special coverage of the shootings. This site had more video clips, probably because CNN is mainly TV news, as opposed to the New York Times. It is also an advantage this site had over the NY Times. Having short video clips is far more convenient than having to read through an online story. They allow the witnesses and other students to speak for themselves, convey their own emotions. One thing I didn't like about the clips, however, was the fact that they were so short. If they had been longer, I think they would be more effective. Sure, the main point of news is to report happenings, but sensationalizing almost seems unavoidable with TV news.

One clip was that which a student had taken on his cell phone. On the shaky video, gunshots are clearly heard popping in the air. It is horrifying and the sounds sent chills up my spine. To imagine that he was so close to the area where the killings took place. But for having survived such a tragedy, and being in such a close vicinity, he was strangely calm as he gave his interview.
Finally, I looked into Yahoo's coverage of the event. Because Yahoo is a search engine and not a specific news medium, most of its news stories were compiled of AP wire stories. It also had a far more information than the other two sites, most likely because it is a search engine and had pulled from numerous sources. In fact, most of the video clips provided were from CNN. Also, Yahoo wasn't as organized into a package as the other two had.

Yahoo's coverage wasn't as appealing as the Times or CNN. Too much information had been tossed together onto one page, but this was also the one advantage I thought it had over the other two. As for the Times, I personally liked this coverage the best. The package included slideshows of photos, video clips, detailed stories, and especially the profiles of the victims. CNN didn't have as much information as the others, I thought, except for the video clips.

Honestly, I was trying to steer away from the coverage of this tragedy as much as I can. I really don't know why; perhaps I'm choosing to stay positive and focus on the positive things that may be happening in this world. Or perhaps I just can't handle tragedy very well. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because the shooter was a Korean, and I feel ashamed at what happened. I don't know. All I know is that I've failed miserably. With so much information available so quickly, it really is almost impossible to avoid.

I hope the nation heals quickly. I've stumbled upon two sites that are dedicated to the tragedy. The first offers a bracelet with the inscription "we are all Hokies" that can be bought. The proceeds will be used to fund the Hokie spirit memorial fund. The other is a memorial to the event and includes a video tribute.

I'll end this post with a tribute video taken from the Facebook group "SMU sends condolences to Virginia Tech."

"Forget any and all college affiliations today.
For today, we are all Hokies."

-- Russell Denney, University of Miami

Nicholas Kristof

2007-04-11T10:40:00.000-06:00

Two time Pulitzer Prize winner Nicholas Kristof was at SMU on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I was unable to hear the New York Times columnist speak. The Times Web site has an extensive collection of his work online, so I had to settle for that instead.

According to his Times bio online, he joined the paper in 1984 and started out covering economics and serving as a correspondent in Los Angeles. He also covered the 2000 presidential campaign. He and his wife, Sheryl WuDunn who is also a journalist at the Times, won a Pulitzer prize together, becoming the first married couple to do so. He won a second Pulitzer in 2006.

One clip I watched was "Mukhtar's Refuge." It was hard to tear my eyes away from the screen, even for a mere second. Seeing the surroundings of the refuge, seeing the anguish and injustice lined on the people's faces, left quite an impact. Sure, the story is powerful enough to have some impact simply through writing, but the words alone could not do the story justice. One woman on the clip, whose 11-year-old daughter was raped, tortured and killed, cannot hide her emotions from the camera. As she tells her story, her pained face expression tells of her sorrow, the pain she felt as she found her young daughter's body. She was not able to receive justice from her village or from the Pakistani government. Instead, she had to seek refuge elsewhere.

Another young woman, whose husband forced her into prostitution, also tells her story. She was married to a "gentle" guy whom she later found out owned a brothel. He told her to work there, and upon her refusal, began to torture her family. She assented, and was locked into a room for two years. She managed to escape, but her husband's gang retaliated by kidnapping her 5th grade brother and using him instead. He managed to escape also, and the family went to the police to report the injustice. The police, however, worked alongside with the gang and instead mocked the family.

The young woman sheds tears as she tells her heartbreaking story. The love among the family members is also evident when the brother says he would rather die than dishonor his sister. It was a heart warming, "aww" moment for me, but also sad. Her one-legged father also cries as he tells of his experience of "merciless beatings" from the police, who arrested him. Her mother firmly says that God should not grant daughters to poor people, and that if the family had money, they wouldn't have these problems.

I felt several different emotions watching this clip. Sadness, obviously, and pity, injustice, disbelief, and horror among others. I couldn't stop saying, "wow," for so many different reasons. These emotions would not be as strong had I read this story online. Although I was unable to watch all the clips on the Times Web site, a quick scan shows that his stories are all about people. People who have a certain plight, plights that other people need to know about. There are stories about the Darfur crisis, Pakistani people, AIDS patients, and so much more.

Being in such a safe, comfortable country, we as Americans don't experience genocide, epidemics, severe injustice, or extreme poverty like the people in Kristof's stories. He works make other people aware of the lives of other people, people who live in a country that isn't free, that isn't rich, and that isn't just. I think we forget about these people, being in such comfortable surroundings.

Kristof uses multimedia to his advantage in these stories. The stories use emotion as a key factor in leaving an impression upon the viewer. Watching this clip is far more powerful than if I had read the story online. Truthfully, I wouldn't have read through the whole story, probably skimmed through it. These stories need to be told, and other people need to be aware of such crises. Besides, who can tell one's own story better than that person? No matter how excellent a reporter may be, I don't think he could possibly retell someone else's story with the same emotions she felt, simply because he doesn't have the same experience. That's what Kristof does. He allows the people to tell their own stories. To let their emotions flow onto the film. This is why his method of story-telling is so effective.

I think it's important that such powerful stories be told using multimedia. Sure, some may argue it will become too sensationalized, but the method is effective. Stories should stir something in people, whether it is happiness or shock. Good or bad, if an impact is left in the reader or viewer, I believe the reporter has done a good job. Of course, I don't think multimedia alone will be good. All clips should have accompanying written stories that will go more in depth on the issue. I'm so glad that multimedia packages are becoming more popular. I believe it's the best way to tell stories, especially ones of other people. It spikes interest in otherwise indifferent people. Who knows? Because of such an impacting clip, someone may arise that could make a change. All because, like Kristof said at the end of this clip, "we are watching."

Rob Insana Lecture

2007-03-29T08:08:00.000-06:00

Rob Insana, a financial analyst for CNBC, came to SMU on Monday as a part of the Tate Lecture Series.He speaks of his past, saying he never took an economics class and how he learned all he knows because he was thrown into the business. Insana was originally a music major before switching to a film major.

Insana started out as a producing assistant at Financial News Network and then he became a producer. By "accident," when both anchors at FNN called in sick on the same day, he had to take their place and has since spent 21 years on the air.

On Monday, Insana spoke of the market and being able to predict outcomes. Looking back, he says, there are examples of events drastically influencing the market. One example he gave was when President Kennedy was assasinated. Before the world knew that the president was shot, the stock market fell. Because of this Insana says that markets move seemingly in advance to events.

He also spoke of technology and how it influenced the market. He mentioned the iPod and HDTV and said the market could "explode" if the iPod found a way to become wireless.

Honestly, I do not know anything about markets and stocks. I've never had much of an interest in this area, and don't know if I ever will. The few majors I knew I'd always avoid were math, science and business. They just don't interest me at all. It was hard to relate to much of Insana's lecture because most of what he spoke about was foreign to me.

The one part I could understand and relate to was when he spoke about business journalism. He says that often business journalists will know much about politics and other subjects, but political journalists rarely know as much about business. Insana adds that the financial community often has the first word in news. Because there is so much money involved, the supporters need to be updated and kept up to date. Otherwise, the monetary support could be taken away.

I don't really know how much I enjoyed the lecture on Monday; perhaps it is because of my lacking knowledge of stocks and business. I thought I would be able to avoid delving into this area, but according to Insana, it's important for me and other future journalists to know. I don't like this idea, but I'm open to it. I guess it's time to crack open the Business section and try to catch up.

Yolanda's Crossing

2007-02-12T16:23:00.001-06:00

http://www.dallasnews.com/s/dws/spe/2006/yolanda/

I first read this seven part series in the Dallas Morning News about Yolanda Méndez Torres, a young woman who was raped at the age of 11 and forcefully brought to the U.S by the man who raped her, Juan García Aguilar. I figured, since this was a special feature, that there had to be more information online (plus, there was a sidebar alongside every installment telling the reader to go online for more information). Sure enough, there is a special multimedia package that features videos, audio clips, and photos not available in the paper.

Yolanda's story was so horrific and detailed, even in plain writing. However, words sometimes don't do a story justice. There's something different about seeing pictures alongside the story that helps bring it to life. Instead of relying purely on one's own imagination, the reader is able to actually see photos that show places the victim has stayed, situations she was in. To make the story even more effective, the video is shown with Yolanda telling her own story. Her voice is calm, the high pitched, girlish tones showing her youth (she’s only 19).

Using a combination of video and audio is far more effective than the story alone. Reading the text forces the reader to use his/her imagination to create pictures as interpreted from the text. By using actual photos and clips from Yolanda's experience, the story becomes more real and the reader is almost sucked into the story. Real places and real people make the story come alive, and Yolanda's narrative makes it feel as if the story was told personally to him/her.

If the story had been broadcast simply all video without the accompanying text, it would be effective, but not as much so with the whole package. Images move the viewers, and this is what makes broadcast journalism more “emotional,” I suppose. However, broadcast news tends to be shorter, simply capturing the rush of emotions at the moment. It doesn't go in depth the way print does, doesn't analyze. Sure, a follow up broadcast could always be done, but it still isn’t as effective as having accompanying text to read at the moment, when the story catches your interest.

Another good thing about having different media on one page is that it appeals to different types of people. There is something for everyone. Some would rather watch a moving clip and “experience” the story in a sense, others prefer to let words tell the story and to use their imagination. The audience can choose one medium, or use them all, whichever is preferred.

In this package's case, the different media combine to powerfully tell a story. The site is laid out simply on a black background. Thumbnails of various photos are actually links that lead to text that was printed in the newspaper along with an accompanying video. For people like me, the video was first to catch my attention. I admit it: I'm lazy at times, and watching is so much easier than reading. I clicked on the link, and dramatic music immediately streamed out of my headphones. It was soon followed by a girlish voice speaking Spanish. While the video plays, English subtitles are displayed at the bottom of the screen.

Having these different media made my experience with this story full. I was intellectually stimulated and emotionally moved, a full experience I couldn't achieve with simply a newspaper or broadcast news. However, if every bit of media was not viewed, the viewer would not have this "full" experience. Simply reading the text would definitely be an advantage because it is so much more in depth and has information the video clips lack. One example would be in the last installment, the information about Aguilar. The video does not mention him in the last clip, and ends on a happy, warm, fuzzy note. The viewer feels happy for Yolanda, without bothering to think about Aguilar. Perhaps he/she will even think of Yolanda much as a saint, for being so forgiving. In this sense, it is somewhat unbalanced.

I'm glad media is converging, that sites are beginning to both text and video. It's definitely crucial at a time like now, when everyone should be accomadated for. With packages like this, I think everyone can be satisfied and enjoy reading/viewing news stories more.

the Homeless Guy

2007-01-17T22:27:00.000-06:00

http://thehomelessguy.blogspot.com/

The blog I visited featured Kevin Barbieux, a man in Nashville, Tenn. writing about his experience being homeless.

Barbieux's entries feature stories of struggling to secure a warm meal, visiting various churches through the Room In The Inn (RITI) program, and being able to spend his birthday in the warmth of a friend's house. He also speaks of his life before entering “homelessland,” and the hurts and unfairness he felt.

My first thoughts upon reading his blog were the following: Is he still homeless? How can a homeless man be able to keep up a blog? Barbieux mentions going into Starbucks coffee shops and using Wi-Fi available with some churches through RITI. In an accompanying blog, Barbieux writes that he has been in and out of homelessness since February 1982. However, the post is dated August 11, 2006 and it is somewhat unclear whether he is still homeless or not.

In one particular entry on Thursday, January 11, Barbieux writes of his struggle in securing a RITI ticket for a meal the previous Monday night. He offers five dollars for a ticket and is laughed off by the other homeless. In the end, he is able to find someone to sell him a ticket, but he writes of how difficult it is to find someone who will take five dollars for a ticket.

In other entries, Barbieux writes of how different methods of trying to decrease the number of homeless are failing. In particular, he takes stabs at Nashville's Rescue Mission, a group the homeless call “the house of pain” or the “house of shame,” according to his post dated on Friday, December 29 of 2006. He writes that the mission is not successful because it has done little to help decrease the homeless population. Writing of other services, he mentions that they do little in helping a homeless person leave “homelessland.”

Reading through Barbieux's entries was intriguing, and my first reaction to his blog was shock. I've always had the mindset that homeless people were more uneducated, I'm sorry to say. In my mind, they had to be, or else, why would they be homeless? I would tell myself that if I were ever homeless, I would make more of an effort to work hard and try to get myself out of the mess. But a statement like this is easy to say because I've never experienced such before. Barbieux, however, seems to be a fairly well educated man. He lists art, theology and sociology as some of his interests. He reads articles, often listing ones that have to do with the issue of homelessness. He was definitely the opposite of my idea of a homeless person. Also, seeing homeless people on the street made me feel some pity toward them, but usually not enough to roll down my window and offer some cash or food. Like many others, I would grip my steering wheel and stare straight ahead, avoiding the homeless person's gaze and praying that he wouldn't linger near my window. Reading Barbieux's blog helped me to see from a homeless person's perspective. He writes of his struggles with the weather and finding shelter and meals. In his answers blog, he writes of how hard it was to find a job and how even people at rescue missions seemed cold and indifferent to how emotionally unstable he was.

Wow. Rereading over what I just wrote makes me realize how ignorant I can be. Sadly, I think my ideas of a homeless person are similar to others' ideas. Maybe part of the reason there are still so many homeless among us is because we’re so unaware of their plight. We don't know how to really help them. People think that handing out a few dollar bills or providing a meal is the only way we can help. I wonder how many programs there are that try to help homeless people to find jobs and get out of homelessness and how many of those programs succeed.

Honestly, without blogs like this, I wonder how people could get an idea of what a homeless person’s day is like, or the struggles they go through. Sure, we make assumptions and have “ideas,” but these are merely assumptions. We cannot tell what emotions they are feeling, what struggles they are trying to overcome, or even why they cannot find a job or a home. And none of us would dream of walking up to a homeless person and asking him how his day was or how he's feeling. I don't mean to end this post on a cynical note, but quite frankly and sadly, I don't ever see this problem going away.